BJK&E

With the new Premiership season starting this Saturday I thought it would be fun to see what people’s predictions are for the coming season.  Now, as a die-hard Villa fan I would love nothing more than the boys in Claret and Blue to race to victory this year but as Steve Sidwell is not the complete player yet I don’t think that’s going to happen!

As usual the Big Four look likes staying as The Big Four, no matter how much our MD argues Spurs’ case to the contrary.  To be honest if they can improve on last year’s 11th I’ll be impressed!  So, what I want to know is what will the Top 4 be and who will get relegated?

Here are my thoughts:

Top 4

1. Chelsea
2. Man United
3. Liverpool
4. Arsenal

Relegated

Stoke
Hull
Bolton

Think I’ve got it completely wrong?  Then Blog who you think will make the Top Four and get Relegated.  Whoever gets it bang on Wins…………………………….Pride

I am pleased to see that there is some interesting programming back on our screens again on Monday nights.  I’m not talking about ITV1’s Send In The Dogs (although those drug-sniffing pooches are incredible) but BBC1’s Dragons’ Den.  After watching the last three episodes it has occurred to me that the Dragons are investing more and more in people’s businesses than ever before. 

This is because most of the products that receive investment are then sold to consumers on the premise of “As Seen on Dragons’ Den…..”  None more so than the indie band Hamfatter, more misplaced than Theo Paphitis on Britain’s Got Talent, yet the band received investment from Peter Jones, and since then have achieved thousands of online downloads and are apparently set to sign to Simon Cowell’s SyCo Label.

Being that it looks easier than ever to achieve investment from the Dragons, what idea would you pitch to the Dragons to seek investment, and the chance to become a multimillionaire?  Now I’m sure no one is going to give their lifelong business idea away here but it would be interesting to know people’s thoughts on where there are gaps in the UK consumer market that could be exploited for investment from one of the five Dragons (but preferably not Duncan Bannatyne……)

To start proceedings here is the idea I would pitch to the Dragons.

Private Members Sports Bar called “12th Man” - You would think there are lots of these around but believe me there aren’t, sure there are sports clubs that will also have a TV in their bar to watch sport but I am talking about an upmarket Private Members Sports Bar that mixes business with watching Sport in the finest luxury.  A lot of people’s evenings revolve around watching sport and if you’re like me there are only so many nights you can stand in the beer-sodden hovels of Sports Cafe, Sirrocco and Cheers Bar…..I want a bar where I can always get a table no matter what the time and that is where 12th Man comes in, mixed with Poker Evenings, Race Nights and Betting Tipster seminars it will revolutionise the Private Members Sports Bar market.

So what’s your pitch to the Dragons?

It is with trepidation that I write this.  How does one convert the funniest conversation ever had?  It got so bad in fact I had to scribe things down during our chat.  Let me take you back to the beginning.  It was not the dawn of time it was only last night that I met a human more amusing than any other examined before.  This gent has so many strings to his bow it is unbelievable.

From what started with such throw away questions as “What are you doing this weekend?” ended with “What exactly does your Marmalord Super Hero outfit look like!?”

Emily was the catalyst.  From a jovial story about holding a baby monkey called “baby monkey” this particular man then went on to ask if we had ever been to Monkey World.  A strange question in anyone’s book.  He then went on to talk about an Albino Gorilla called “Snowflake.”  That produced numerous guffaws which then made me think if this guy has this in his locker what else has he got.  Well what we found was much much more.

It started out as a joke to send a copy of a random mag to a mate.  What it turned into was a lifelong b2b subscription.  I am talking about no other than the global title Poultry International, after reading the title he fell in love with it.  As a b2b title the company wanted to know more about the reader and asked how many chicken boilers he went through of which he said, “2 million” to their response “is that all?”  With quick thinking the phrase “per month” was born - because of this sizeable production Poultry International could do nothing but send a cheque for $20 to Pixie Poultry Ltd, which I’m sure you will not be surprised to learn is a fake company.  Along with this he also received a free subscription to Poultry International, Pig International and Feed International (which he chooses not to read, for obvious reasons).

This lead us to think “What else has he got?”   Well…..quite a lot.  All I need to say is www.marmaland.com

What started off as a present for his Mother turned into an obsession that included a 400-strong marmalade jar collection cascading down his stairs at home that lead to the website and to the creation of the Marmalord (who has an open-faced yellow crash helmet and large M on his chest with cape) and his sidekick the Marmalad (think a fatter Robin who has eaten to much Marmalade).  Even crazier than this was the creation of the Marmalade Jar Reader Marusan Moo Chicki Chicki - who sources interesting information about Marmalade Jars and then relays readers to inquisitive consumers…..mainly Americans….

All of this in the middle of the Honey International Festival in Hatfield….there is no night for this man there is no time to sleep and all I ask is to visit the site yourself (www.marmaland.com) but at the same time please ignore Polly Anne’s comments about marmalade, they do things differently in Albania…………