BJK&E

I am pleased to see that there is some interesting programming back on our screens again on Monday nights.  I’m not talking about ITV1’s Send In The Dogs (although those drug-sniffing pooches are incredible) but BBC1’s Dragons’ Den.  After watching the last three episodes it has occurred to me that the Dragons are investing more and more in people’s businesses than ever before. 

This is because most of the products that receive investment are then sold to consumers on the premise of “As Seen on Dragons’ Den…..”  None more so than the indie band Hamfatter, more misplaced than Theo Paphitis on Britain’s Got Talent, yet the band received investment from Peter Jones, and since then have achieved thousands of online downloads and are apparently set to sign to Simon Cowell’s SyCo Label.

Being that it looks easier than ever to achieve investment from the Dragons, what idea would you pitch to the Dragons to seek investment, and the chance to become a multimillionaire?  Now I’m sure no one is going to give their lifelong business idea away here but it would be interesting to know people’s thoughts on where there are gaps in the UK consumer market that could be exploited for investment from one of the five Dragons (but preferably not Duncan Bannatyne……)

To start proceedings here is the idea I would pitch to the Dragons.

Private Members Sports Bar called “12th Man” - You would think there are lots of these around but believe me there aren’t, sure there are sports clubs that will also have a TV in their bar to watch sport but I am talking about an upmarket Private Members Sports Bar that mixes business with watching Sport in the finest luxury.  A lot of people’s evenings revolve around watching sport and if you’re like me there are only so many nights you can stand in the beer-sodden hovels of Sports Cafe, Sirrocco and Cheers Bar…..I want a bar where I can always get a table no matter what the time and that is where 12th Man comes in, mixed with Poker Evenings, Race Nights and Betting Tipster seminars it will revolutionise the Private Members Sports Bar market.

So what’s your pitch to the Dragons?

Did anyone see the new TV ad for Heinz? It features two men kissing! HOW SHOCKING!!! That’s not me speaking, but the 200 people who complained the over the next few days. It seems most complaints (according to the Daily Mail, naturally) were from parents who were subsequently forced to explain same-sex relationship to their children. A tricky job, but then isn’t it a case of sooner rather than later? You can only shield children to an extent from the world around them, and wouldn’t this have to be explained at some point anyway?

Despite deliberately creating this potentially controversial advert, in response to these complaints Heinz quickly buckled and removed the ad. But you can’t please everyone. By removing this ad they have aroused the wrath of the gay community, with gay rights group Stonewall, and Gaydar condemning the brand as “gutless” and “homophobic”. The two groups are now calling for a gay-boycott (never has the phrase felt so appropriate), amongst the 3.6million strong UK community.

The ASA is now in the tricky process of deciding whether the ad is offensive or unsuitable for children enough to be banned.

But hang on, I think we need to get our priorities straight here! There’s something in this debate no one has mentioned… BEANS MAKE YOU FART!! Isn’t that just so much more offensive?!

To quote Jean-Paul ‘off-of’ Hollyoaks last night: “Gay is the new black”

I note with a heavy heart that Big Brother 9 starts tonight.  Apparently the house is the biggest ever (oooh!), Big Brother more wiley than ever.  No doubt the contestants will be more mind-numbingly stupid than ever and Davina McCall more irritating than ever. 

After last year’s Celebrity BB racism row and lower ratings for the main series some predicted the programme’s demise.  But Channel 4 are adamant that there is still great demand for the show and that ratings are not their main concern anyway.

When Big Brother started, it was (like Davina) fresh, quirky and fun.  It was, without doubt, a good concept.  But it’s become little more than a freak show, churning out transient tabloid fodder at the expense of decent programming every night of the week.  No amount of cosmetic changes and hackneyed twists can disguise the fact that the format is tired.

Not all reality TV is bad.  The genre still has legs, the success of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ is testament to that.  As everyone knows, I’m a sucker for ‘The Apprentice’!  But please, please, no Big Brother 10.

Today the press has been full of talk about the new Honda ad airing tonight on C4 during Come Dine with Me. Following on from their headline grabbing ads, Cog and Grrr, Honda have gone one step further and are now throwing people out of planes in the name of promoting the brand!

Based on the widsom of Honda’s founder who is purported to have stated ‘difficult is worth doing’ (now the tagline used in the ads), the new ad features 19 skydivers attempting to form the word Honda in the air. The stunt will be shown ‘live’ and in ‘real time.’ Unless it rains. In which case a rehearsal jump filmed yesterday will be shown.

Of course this is all very innovative, publicity grabbing - and no doubt award winning- but do the car buying public really care that much? Do they appreciate the fact that the stunt is live? And is the reported £500k cost really worth it? I suppose the question should be - is difficult really worth doing?

I’m still loving The Apprentice and I think this might be the best series yet.  Not least because Siralan’s trusty aides Margaret and Nick are really getting the chance to shine (Margaret, I think I love you).

I was gutted to see Raef go last week, quite why Siralan keeps letting Michael off the hook I don’t know.  He has absolutely got to go tonight.

I think the last four will be Claire, Lee, Lucinda and Alex with Claire the eventual winner. 

What say you?

I have to admit I was a little slow on the uptake, having only watched the first series a month ago on loan from Mr. Fineman. I also didn’t actually realise the second helping of superhero excitement was just around the corner until Milo Ventimiglia (Peter Petrelli) was on Chris Moyles’ breakfast show this morning. Thank god it wasn’t too late! My only concern is how I’m going to cope with just one dose a week. Shows like Heroes, (and 24) are best watched by boxsets, when you are involuntarily compelled to get through at least 3-4 episodes in a row. And that’s on a light night. I guess I’ll just have to contain my excitement.

This may be controversial, but did anyone else find the last episode a bit dissatisfying after such a great build up? Although inevitably they left enough cliffhangers to carry our curiosity over to the new series. What happens to Hiro? Will Sylar come back somehow? What about Peter and Nathan? Well, as Chris Moyles pointed out this morning, it’s a bit of a giveaway that Milo is talking about filming the new series. More Peter Petrelli is fine by me! I just really hope it doesn’t turn into another Lost  that spirals into a rambling, unresolved mess of twists and milked plots.

Either way I’ll be watching. Season 2 starts this Thursday (24th April) on BBC2 at 9pm.

HIRO!!!!

Mmmm… chocolate. One of my favourite things on the planet. So I couldn’t help noticing Cadbury in Media Week’s brand barometer, following the most recent “glass-and-a-half production”. The new ad broke on 30th March, days after Terminal 5 opened its doors. I have to admit the first time I saw it I did think it was an attempt by BA to make the chaos seem more appealing, making light of losing luggage by blaming it on those cheeky trucks running riot after hours. Bad timing indeed. But how did “Trucks” fair against it’s precursor? According to BrandIndex, while our old friend Gorilla Collins pushed Cadbury’s “buzz” up 5 points, the racing airport vehicles have not managed to keep up the buzz-mentum, (two points down since the ad debuted). Oh dear. Maybe this chocolate factory is getting a bit too willy-wonky for their own good! Whatever happened to the old self-indulgent, tongue flicking, mmm-I’m-making-love-to-my-chocolate kind of ads, a la Flake? Oh yeah, they’re back. Except with the obscenely irritating Joss Stone. Mind you, at least the new Flake ad makes me want to eat chocolate, although not in the direct way I imagine they hoped. Rather, I’m so wound up with annoyance but that idiot prancing around on my TV that I crave a hit of cocoa to curb the anger! If you ask me, Aero have the right idea in getting girls to drool over a chocolate ad - put the confectionary in front of a half naked Smith from Sex and the City. Mmmm indeed!

There’s not much I have to watch on telly these days but the Apprentice is lighting up my Wednesday evenings.  This series looks set to be a corker with Siralan at his pantomime best and the best comedy duo on TV bar none, Nick ‘n Margaret, withering for England.  It’s scandalously biased but the editing is fabulous and also manages to make London look like the best city in the world.

Standout characters so far are Raef (and his hair) and the unbelievably awful Jenny, who should have been sacked last week but wasn’t because she’ll make good TV.  From what we’ve seen so far, they’re all pretty useless, but my money’s on someone from the school of hard knocks winning this year after Sir Alan picked posh last time round.  Blardy marvellous.

I have recently been on honeymoon. 3 weeks in Costa Rica without mobile or even Blackberry reception….I was nervous at the prospect but it turned out to be bliss having no contact with the outside world - apart from the occasional sneaky look at BBC News to check we weren’t at war or anything. However on my return and after a 26 hour door to door journey ( I swear Miami airport is run by the devil)  I was more than ready to catch up with the world, especially the world of trash TV! So what did I record on my TV Plus whilst away. Whilst my husband (still feels weird saying that) had plugged in mostly highbrow music and cultural shows I relished the prospect of watching my hours upon hours of America’s Next Top Model, Supersize versus Superskinny and Crazy in Love. Sofa, pizza and Tyra being a bitch - what could be better when jetlagged?

 We also managed to record some things we could watch together, current favourites include the new series of Skins, Torchwood and the new series Reaper which is good stupid fun about a guy whose parents sold his soul to the devil and must now pay the consequences - one of my favourite directors Kevin Smith, of Mallrats, Clerks and Jay and Silent Bob fame, is also involved.

I didn’t manage to catch much TV in Costa Rica but what I saw in the background of bars seemed to consist of dodgily dubbed soap operas that looked like they had been filmed in the 80’s. The UK may not have sun soaked beaches, abundant wildlife or baby monkeys to hold but at least we have Kerry Katona to entertain us eh………

Most of the UK knows about all the racism issues brought up in last year’s Celebrity Big Brother. Amongst fears that people lost faith in the show and decreasing viewing figures the show’s producers decided to give the format a bit of a shake-up. This time, the celebrities act as ‘Big Brother’ by setting tasks, controlling shopping budgets and basically doing what they like. Another change is the contestants had to have at least one talent to be in the house – in other words these are people who wouldn’t have been allowed in the house in previous years. This was probably due to talentless schmucks being more malleable and you can make them do just about anything.

Thankfully, the show has not taken up any space on Channel 4, but has instead been pushed onto E4. This has resulted in the expected decrease in viewing figures. The performance of this show will probably determine the future of any other Big Brother shows. I, for one, hope it doesn’t succeed. I admit it - I used to watch Big Brother in the early years. It was interesting – a social experiment if you will. But all it seems to be about now is watching a group of people argue all the time and getting drunk so they come out of the house famous. Shove a whole family there at Xmas time and that could be interesting!

There are also rumours that the celebrities will be put in the house and voted off soon, but I won’t be watching to find out.